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  • Jun. 7th, 2009 at 6:01 PM
poeticsoul: (Default)
I have no title...hence the idiotic one I used. I am getting sick again.  Such fun.  I get tired of this bullshit of always being sick. It's just straight up annoying.  Anyways, the point of the entry.  That whole a wave of depression. Hmm, it's still there.  I thought a dose of vampire movies all weekend would help. Umm yeah no.  Instead it just reminds of pairs. Edward has Bella, Selene has Michael, Sonia has Lucian, need I continue? I am more so depressed that I am getting closer to 31 and still living with my mom. Depressed that I am stuck here without a car to just drive off whenever I so choose to. Depressed that I am not where I wanted to be in my writing. Depressed that I no longer have the heart and soul that I once had. Depressed with the hand I was dealt.  Where was I when the dealer shuffled the cards? Obviously not around because I sure would have handed the dealer my cards for a whole new set. I hate this hand.  1 card I definitely would have handed back...Sickle Cell Anemia.  Because of it I am turning 31 and living with mom. Because of it I am not working like I so desire to be. I can't blame it on my love life even though I make a sucky girlfriend because I am sick or tired 99% of the time but no that's a different card. Can't blame it for not writing. No I blame the writer's block on that card.  But I can blame it for not having a car. If I was working I could afford a car. On 675 a month I can't do that when Tae needs food and I have bills to pay. I don't know I am babbling about stupid shit that doesn't affect your life for you to care about that shit. 

Well I'm tired.  Was gonna work on a wordpress theme but no inspiration for it. Same goes for shading pixel tubes.  I think I lost my muse with this wave. Hopefully she'll swim back.
I am off now hope your weekend was awesome.

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